Published on | Prototyping: From UX to Front End — Medium Lico Takahashi

Empathy is the key to a successful Design Thinking process. If you are a designer, you are probably familiar with user interviews and other user-centered methods. User interviews give you many valuable insights, especially when you are trying to specify user needs and requirements for a new product. However, listening to users is not as simple a task as it may seem. Remember the last time you talked to your boss about your concerns, or you called customer service to complain about poor performance of a product. Did they understand your point? Did you feel like you were really heard?

Empathy is at the heart of design. Without the understanding of what others see, feel, and experience, design is a pointless task. — Tim Brown

Listening is not an inherent ability, but a skill that you must practice and learn. It’s like singing or acting. You might be able to sing without practice, but you must practice if you want to be a good singer. And just like singing, there are some techniques that help you improve your listening skills. That’s why psychologists are better listeners than most of us. They are trained to listen properly, through education and practice. If you listen like a psychologist, you will be able to empathize better and understand the deepest needs and requirements that users are trying to communicate.

I am not a psychologist, but I studied clinical psychology for 4 years and received bachelor’s degree from a top university. Here are some knowledge I learned from prominent psychologists about professional listening.

1. Accept Radically

A user interview is an unnatural situation to be in. You are a stranger who comes in and asks about a user’s work and life. It’s no wonder that he or she becomes protective and says only nice things. To find out true feelings and opinions, you should show that you are accepting the user radically.

Radical acceptance is the word often used in the context of mindfulness. You accept the people and things as they are, without any judgement at all. Expectation is the biggest obstacle for radical acceptance, because it would cause joy or disappointment according to the results. Users will notice when you are disappointed in your heart. So, don’t expect particular answers, be curious and open to any kind of answers. After all, you are here to find out user’s point of view, not to prove your hypothesis.

2. Be Open to Wonders

You never know what other people think. You can’t see what they are experiencing in their mind. It’s a mystery for you. However, we all tend to forget the fact and jump to false conclusions that match your assumptions. Suppose you are interviewing an old lady, and she says she doesn’t like Facebook.

“I don’t use Facebook a lot. It’s not for me.”

“I understand. My mom says social media makes her crazy.”

“Well, it’s just…the communication there. It’s not quite my style.”

“Ah, I know. Actually, I prefer talking in person, too.”

“Oh, I don’t like talking in person, I just prefer Twitter over Facebook!”

In this case the lady is very honest and tells you what she really thinks, but in real life that doesn’t happen a lot. The user will think you are a bad listener and give up talking about it.

3. Don’t Ask “Why”

You might have been taught to ask “why” a lot. While it is crucial to understand users’ motivations, it could be better if you ask differently. “Why” is a difficult question and not many people have clear answers to it. Besides, some users might find the question a little bit offensive, like they are being criticized. For example:

“I don’t like school.”

“Why don’t you like school?”

“I don’t know. I just don’t!”

Let’s think about a different way to ask. Instead of asking “why”, you can use another question word, such as “when” and “where”.

“I don’t like school.”

“When do you hate school most? In what situation?”

“Lunch time. I don’t want to eat alone.”

In this way you will get much more information, and hopefully be able to find a path to “why”.

4. Listen to Meta-Message

A users’ physical voice sometimes tells you different stories from the words she is speaking. One might say “I like it” in a flat tone, or in a cheerful and excited voice. Such non-verbal information is called meta-message. When you conduct an onsite interview, the volume of information is much larger than when you read an E-mail or a written questionnaire. That is a great benefit of onsite user interviews, and you should take advantage of it.

There are several channels of meta-message along with physical voice. Facial expressions, gestures, posture and pace of speech are all telling you something about the user’s mind. Observe carefully and try to understand the true meaning behind the user’s words.

5. Summarize Briefly

Summarizing is a great way to check your understanding during an interview. It is also good for reassuring the user. Talking to someone who just nods and asks next question is sometimes quite uncomfortable. The user will be relieved if you give her a short summary of what you’ve just heard. It will give the user the confirmation that you understand correctly, and you are actually listening. And you can give her an opportunity to correct you, if you misunderstood something. Summarization will clarify what you understood, how you understood it and where you paid attention while listening.

Try to keep the summary very short and simple. The user is here to talk, not to listen to you. Keep in mind the summarization is for the purpose of listening.

And…Let’s Practice

As I’ve already said, listening is a skill that needs to be practiced and developed. You can’t become a good listener without listening, just as you can’t become a good singer without singing a lot. So let’s practice listening. You can listen carefully, not only when you conduct user interviews, but also in office and at home. Listen to your colleagues, friends and family members. It will help to improve your personal relationships too!

How to Listen to Your Users like a Psychologist was originally published in Prototypr on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

How to Listen to Your Users like a Psychologist

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