Published on <a href="https://blog.prototypr.io/my-design-journey-2d9c9ad3647e?source=rss----eb297ea1161a---4">| Prototyping: From UX to Front End &mdash; Medium</a> Kezia Jenissa Santoso 
I know that I always love to see beautiful things and create beautiful things. I told my parents 10 years ago that I wanted to be a “designer” because I love to “design” things. Never did I realize that my understanding of these two words was so shallow back then
This article is about how I learned “design”, how my definition of the word “designer” and “design” has evolved over time, and how my constant pursue to be a “designer” revealed me things unimaginable for myself 10 years ago.
So… let’s begin…
<h3>My First Definition</h3>
<blockquote>“Design” is about creating pretty stuff</blockquote>
<blockquote>“Designer” is someone who creates something pleasing to the eye</blockquote>
<blockquote>My action plan in becoming “designer”: Learn how to create beautiful things!</blockquote>
I did what most parents would tell their kids to do, especially when you are born in Asian families, one of which was taking basic drawing lessons.
Here’s an example my first drawing
<img alt="" src="https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/1024/1*Ny5bxDjj6NDrUsxvfvRHYA.jpeg">The Starry Night
Oops not that one,
<img alt="" src="https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/640/1*hz-FuXDKb5HXHnsf3uWR2Q.png">I bet anybody in the world has drawn stickman at least once in their life!
I joined manga drawing lessons, oil painting lessons and did some practice using watercolors and sketchbooks. After a few years getting my hands dirty (and my clothes, that made my mom yell at me because I stained my t-shirts), I had improvements in my drawing skill, but even then I didn’t feel my drawings were somewhat special.
My teacher told me, “your drawing is too organized. Please be more expressive”
<blockquote>“Your drawing is too organized. Please be more expressive”</blockquote>
I found out that making yet another pretty stuff on the wall did not mean I am a great designer.
<h3>My Second Definition</h3>
<blockquote>“Design” is about the emotion behind it.</blockquote>
<blockquote>“Designer” is someone who creates something that makes people feels something.</blockquote>
<blockquote>My action plan in becoming “designer”: Learn how to create beautiful things that people can feel.</blockquote>
One of my works done during this period:
<img alt="" src="https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/1024/1*r5RPDm5ujE_Vpg9l6o0K9A.jpeg">Expression: Fear, (gouache on paper)
I realized that I had lost my way of becoming a “designer.” Making these stuff would make me became into an “artist” or a “painter”, not a “designer.”
Realizing the fact that “designers” are increasingly using digital tools, I changed my design-training medium from sketchbook to digital sketch, which was no other than Photoshop and Illustrator. There were no longer sounds of pencils brushing against paper kind of sound, — they had changed into melodies of the keyboard and mouse clicking and clacking my art into existence.
I pushed myself more by joining several extracurricular activities that could refine my digital drawing skills. I began to make banners and posters for some events, and some minor product design.
Working in a committee taught me how to work in a team, and how to improve my design based on feedback and opinion (this is when I experienced the agony and pain of scraping my design that I have made for hours). The feedback mostly came from my design superiors that I worked closely with. I was challenged to make a design that would carry across a message about the event or promotion that we were doing. This was when I found the next definition.
<blockquote>“A design that would carry across a message”</blockquote>
<h3>My Third Definition</h3>
<blockquote>“Design” is about the message it carries.</blockquote>
<blockquote>“Designer” is a messenger that transforms messages through his designs, making designs that speak.</blockquote>
This is when I realize that “design” by itself is like a big umbrella, under which lies different kind of “designs” that fits to specific purposes.
I began to ponder, what kind of “designer” should I be? What kind of “design” will I make?
So… in this part I took different course of action,
<blockquote>My action plan in becoming “designer”: To discover myself and explore what are the “design” definitions best suit my abilities, passion and interest.</blockquote>
I kept on asking myself what am I good at? Can I imagine myself doing it for the rest of my life? What impact can a “designer” make? What do I want to do? What area of improvements should I be aware of to be a that kind of “designer”?
After taking some time to ponder and to consult people around me, I came with a top 3 words best describe myself
<blockquote>“Inarguably compassionate, very people person, highly observant”</blockquote>
It led me to a final conclusion concerning the meaning of the words “design” and “designer” that I truly feel is best suited for myself.
<h3>My Fourth Definition</h3>
<blockquote>“Design” is about the logic or the thought process behind the output.</blockquote>
<blockquote>“Designer” is a thoughtful person whose design will meet people’s needs.</blockquote>
<blockquote>My action plan in becoming “designer”: Learn how to define a problem, and how to come up with solution of that problem.</blockquote>
I don’t want to be a designer who makes pretty things, adds emotions to it, or carries a message across. I’m not saying those things are not good, but I figured out that it is not the kind of “design” that I want to do for the rest of my life. I want to be the part of the fourth definition of “design” that I currently have because it suits me best.
I’d like to end my evolving “design” definition with a quote from Ira Glass.
<blockquote>“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me.</blockquote>
<blockquote>All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you.</blockquote>
<blockquote>A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit.</blockquote>
<blockquote>Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work.</blockquote>
<blockquote>Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”</blockquote>
<blockquote>— Ira Glass</blockquote>
<blockquote>“I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”</blockquote>
<h3>You think it is already the end of this blog? Think again.</h3>
See the second paragraph:
<blockquote>This article is about how I learned “design”, how my definition of the word “designer” and “design” has evolved over time, and how my constant pursue to be a “designer” revealed me things unimaginable for myself 10 years ago.</blockquote>
I’ve told you about how my definition of the word “designer” and “design” has evolved over time, but I haven’t talked about the latter.
If you are reading the article until this point, and if you are familiar with <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_experience">user experience</a> terms of <a href="http://www.designcouncil.org.uk/news-opinion/design-process-what-double-diamond">double diamond approach</a>, there is hidden design process throughout my story that fits that approach. And now I am in “Develop” stage.
<img alt="" src="https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/860/1*al9eeuIPY3ruc_VkoQMSgg.jpeg">Double Diamond Process
<blockquote>Develop — a period of development where solutions or concepts are created, prototyped, tested and iterated. This process of trial and error helps designers to improve and refine their ideas.</blockquote>
Not getting the big picture? Let me bring enlightenment.
Change the words in my fourth definition of “design” and “designer” to “user experience design” and “user experience designer.” You will know that I am currently learning to be a user experience designer. As I did reflection about my life and the decisions that led me to who I am now, unknowingly I have been applying what I am currently learning, which is design process, into my life.
<ol>
<li>Discover: I noticed a problem, I don’t know what “designer” I wanted to be</li>
<li>Define: I tried to make sense of all the “design” possibilities identified, hence the “design” and “designer” definition 1–4</li>
<li>Develop: I am testing 4 “design” and “designer” definitions, hence the experience. I eliminated first 3 of them because the solution did not answer my problem, and now I am testing the last one. Iteration and improvement will be done in the next few years.</li>
<li>Delivery: I am not here yet, will take years to get here.</li>
</ol>
<blockquote>how my constant pursue to be a “designer” revealed me things unimaginable for myself 10 years ago.</blockquote>
I have obtained revelation that design process is not only useful to make a great product, but also to make a great life! I have been applying design process to my own life, to solve my own problem.
<h4>And that, folks, is why the article is not titled My Journey in “Design” but My “Design” Journey.</h4>
Published: 20 Nov 2017
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<a href="https://blog.prototypr.io/my-design-journey-2d9c9ad3647e">My “Design” Journey</a> was originally published in <a href="https://blog.prototypr.io">Prototypr</a> on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

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