Published on | Prototyping: From UX to Front End — Medium Laurah Mwirichia

Taking A Break Is OK For Newbies Too

Quitting is not a word that I like to keep in my vocabulary. Quitting is bad. Quitting means you didn’t have the grit or the stamina to complete something. Quitting means that you’re a failure, a loser, and that you deserve the lowly status, dismal results, and negative consequences that you get because you gave up.

But I don’t know if I believe that anymore. I am starting to believe there’s an art to quitting. I’m going on a journey to understand this ‘art of quitting’ and put it to use in my daily life. Big Wall Street bankers believe that ‘greed is good.’ I am going to start believing: ‘Giving up is good.’

I started my journey a year ago- the final goal was to become a UX designer. No matter that I’d only heard the phrase “UX designer” a mere two weeks before I made this goal. And definitely never mind that I had no idea what the field entailed. But learning motivates me, and I decided to spend my summer learning everything I could about UX ( or as I called it at the time: My True Calling).

I spent weeks designing an app using all the things I learned, taught myself how to use Sketch and Photoshop. Learned about prototyping, user research, A/B testing and everything else I could get my hands on. If it’s on YouTube or available online for free- I’ve probably seen it. I went to networking events and met other aspiring designers and felt like I was moving up and would hopefully land a job soon. Finally I started my blog and spent my time writing about design and my experiences. And after all that work trying to become a UX designer and studying UX design….I became a Fintech writer.

What the hell.

Let me start by saying I don’t have a degree in finance, economics, or business. I don’t know that much about mortgages, credit cards, or how small businesses get loans. What I do know is how to write things, and how to do research. It’s why I write about UX design so much. When I started, I didn’t know anything about it. I probably still don’t…so every article I write is like a little research paper about things I’ve learned and I want others to know too. It’s a window to my thought process, my exploration, my way of problem solving. The beginners mindset.

I do sometimes feel like a failure. I feel like that because it’s been several months, and I didn’t land that design job I wanted. I feel that I failed myself. That I’m not good enough. But that’s not true at all! If it wasn’t for UX design, I may have never uncovered other things that I’m good at.

Life is a Fuckboi

Life likes to be weird, and will take you through some very strange routes to get you where it wants you to be. You don’t have to believe that, but I do. There’s a saying that goes, “when mortals plan, the gods laugh.” You can interpret it as depressing or you an interpret it as freedom.

Learning to go with the flow is one of the hardest things. Stop forcing things, especially in your career. That doesn’t mean “don’t try.” It doesn’t mean ‘accept failure.’ It just means- chill the fuck out a little.

Think of the most “go with the flow thing” ever: water. A river that can’t go with the flow is blocked. It’s dammed. It’s a stagnant, dying soul. Producing for others, not for itself.

But a river that’s going with the flow is powerful, it’s vibrant, it’s energetic. When something is in it’s way it simply navigates- ever so gracefully- around it. And eventually the thing in the way is either worn down with time or moved- and the river gets to go on the path that it had originally planned to…but maybe in a more roundabout, more interesting way.

Achieving your dreams in a round about way doesn’t mean you’re a quitter and it doesn’t mean that you’re looking for an easy way out. It means you know your limits and are accepting of them. It means you know that strengths can be weaknesses and weaknesses can be strengths. It means that not every barrier means you stop or go around, but it also means you don’t have to endlessly bash yourself against the wall trying to make something happen.

Giving up can mean ‘being prepared.’ If you want something- keep at it. Have those skills ready for when life decides to pull you again in that direction. When you start seeing opportunities arise and doors opening, lean in. It is not going to be easy, but it will be clear.

I continue to love UX. I’ll continue to write about UX design because I love it. But I’ll also allow myself the freedom to write about other things that are not design and/or finance.

When I started this UX journey, I thought the only thing I wanted was to be a UX designer. That isn’t true, and I know that now. The thing I wanted was to be happy, work at a career I love, doing things I love. Things with words and computers and marketing and design. Connecting humans. Making enough to live a decent enough life that my immigrant parents feel validated for raising an immigrant child in a foreign land.

So regardless of if that dream realizes itself through me becoming a UX designer, a freelance writer, a content creator, a digital marketing specialist, or whatever else is out there- then i’m open to it. This year, let’s all be open to it.

If you enjoyed reading, please follow and clap! You can also find me and connect on LinkedIn, Behance and Twitter.

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Why I’m Leaving UX…For Now was originally published in Prototypr on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Why I’m Leaving UX…For Now

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