UX Planet — Medium | Guy Ligertwood

More tips on pretending to be a gun designer

This is a follow on to my original article 24 Ways to Look Like an Awesome UX Designer

1. Jump out of meeting before it ends saying sorry but you’ve been called into another meeting

“Sorry gotta run”

You need to be in two places at once, how bloody important you are. Being required in another meeting means that it’s probably more important than the meeting you’re already having.

2. “Do you know any good Splunk Developers?” as your mate’s start up (who’s got funding) needs a few asap

“Nope, nope”

Shock horror. This sounds like futuristic porn or something. You look like you’re keeping some pretty edgy company outside of work. And no, very unlikely your colleagues are going to have mates who do this so you should be safe.

3. In a meeting say “to your earlier point” and look to the most important person in the room and state the benefits of doing what they’d said

“POW”

It will seem like you’re listening, the person you point to will be flattered, and no one will challenge you for fear of looking dumb. This is a no brainer; you can’t lose, give it a try.

4. Always wanted to have cool designerish glasses but don’t need them, buy some Warby Parkers with the blue light lens in them

Tell your colleagues that you need them to protect your eyes. In our technology-driven world, LED and LCD digital screens mean we’re exposed to more blue light than ever before. Blue light penetrates right to the back of the eye, triggering nerves that cause discomfort and eye strain. Blue light can cause permanent damage to the eye. Who’s going to argue with that?

5. “Well if we punch the puppy this just may work”

“Dare to punch this puppy?”

People will look at you funny and ask “what does that mean.” You reply that it’s been around for ever and means do something that’s awful but is good for the business. You’ll sound slightly brazen but interesting/crazy at the same time.

6. Talk about ‘passive income’ and how you plan to become a digital native pretty soon as you can’t be bothered with the bullshit of corporate and agency work anymore

“Enough of this crap, I’m off to enjoy the fruits of the free world”

You’ve been there done that. The corporate design world is a slow machine clogging your creative juices with red tape, and the agency life sucks out your soul. It’s time to be a free(lance) designer doing good for the world with no ties.

7. Talk about how ‘computational thinking’ will change the way we learn

Mention how John Maeda (Maeda is to design what Warren Buffet is to finance) championed computational thinking.

Computational design is the application of computational strategies to the design process. While designers traditionally rely on intuition and experience to solve design problems, computational design aims to enhance that process by encoding design decisions using a computer language (Arch Daily).

8. When you’re jammed up say “I don’t have the bandwidth at the moment”

Again you have lots going on, and you can’t make time at the moment. You’re so bloody entrenched in digital that it’s even entered your everyday language.

9. Write on lots of sticky notes and add them to your MacBook (and everywhere)

“That’s a lot of notes”

Post it notes keep designers alive. Every note consists of something to do, to remember, to add to the backlog, to create a meeting about and to doodle on. The more thrown around, the better.

10. “Can we set it up on config and feature toggle it off, when required?”

I keep it in my armoury at all times. Great to say when you are chatting with devs and designers. Companies are always wanting new features, so you’ll get a good run with this one.

11. “The dev’s are doing a tech spike on it”

“OK, things are moving along which isgood”

If you’re in a stand up with little to no news to update the team (as you’re freewheeling), this is a great technical way of saying you’re waiting on the devs.

12. Ask your UX lead if they ever do value stream mapping

“Too much for my brain”

This is a great to do when all the UX team are meeting up. If they ask what it is say:

“it’s a lean-management method for analysing the current state and designing a future state for the series of events that take a product or service from its beginning through to the customer.” (Wikipedia)

End of discussion.

13. Talk about how ‘coding in the classroom’ is the future (like they do in the UK)

The age old discussion of should we learn code. Mention that learning code is not everything but training your mind with problem-solving while coding is invaluable.

14. Talk about Blockchain and how it’s going to disrupt the industry you’re working in pretty soon

“They’re coming for your job soon”

The blockchain is on the way, and every so often drop it in to conversation. You want to stress that no industry is safe and that “this is going to be the uberisation of Uber.”

15. When people spot that your designs look amazingly like another’s quote Picasso “Good artists copy, great artists steal” and say how nothing’s original anymore

“I never tyre of this”

This adage is gold. We all need to get inspiration from elsewhere and tweak it for our own. The old Picasso quote will keep you out of trouble if you’re spotted.

16. Mention that ‘Omni channel’ is the only way these days and that ‘multi-channel’ is a bit outdated

“All omni-channel experiences will use multiple channels, but not all multi-channel experiences are omni-channel,”– boom.

The multi-channel experience is what most businesses invest in today. They have a website, blog, Facebook, and Twitter. They use each of these platforms to engage and connect with customers. However, in most cases, the customer still lacks a seamless experience and consistent messaging across each of these channels. That’s were omni channeling is kicking goals.

17. “If someone says to me, I want to see the UX, once more I’ll bloody eat my hat.”

“UX is the process, people”

This statement is a constant peeve for UX designers, and you need to get pissed at this. You’re a proud UXer, process, process, process, people. UX is not visual design, argh.

18. In stand up when someone goes on a bit jump in with “maybe we should take this offline”

These words look like you’re busy and want to get back to work, as well as thinking that others have better things to do. You like to keep things simple and want people to know that you’re a no nonsense designer.

19. “Why the hell is it UX for User Experience, shouldn’t it be UE or UED?”

You are a designer who questions everything, and you’re not even sold on your own job title. Ask who made this stuff up as is doesn’t make any sense.

20. Reading the menu when out a work lunch “Whoa hectic, Gestalt’s law of grouping wouldn’t like the readability of this ”

“That’s hectic, this menu is so 1999”

You’re always noticing the bad design of this and that, and you find it so frustrating. It seems one of your natural qualities is digging out stuff which is awful for the user whether on the job or not.

21. “I’m so sick of always having to listen to the HIPPO in the room”

HIPPO means the Highest (income) Paid Person’s Opinion. Yeah, we all know these people in meetings. When they say something, even if it’s crap, people nod in agreement. Showing your disdain for these high rolling free wheelers will bring you some real allies. Just don’t show this disdain to the HIPPO.

22. Upstream, downstream, value stream

Streams get thrown into lots of digital project talk.

“We need to create a value stream, to think about upstream and then they can come down stream.”

If you enjoyed this, read my other UX articles:

18 Things I Wish I’d Known When Starting Out in UX Design
New to UX Design? Feeling Overwhelmed?
UX Writing: How to do it like Google with this powerful checklist
Writing for the Web: How To Be Well Prepared With This Great Checklist
UX Design For Your Life
24 Ways to Look Like an Awesome UX Designer
51 Research Terms You Need to Know as a UX Designer
53 Tech Terms You Need to Know as a UX Designer
How to become a UX Designer at 40 with no digital or design experience

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22 (more) Ways To Look Like An Awesome UX Designer was originally published in UX Planet on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.