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UX Planet — Medium | Guy Ligertwood
What your digital colleagues are really saying
Working in digital, I’ve noticed that people talk in tongues. There’s a slightly passive aggressive subtext to what people are really saying, which I find pretty amusing.
Subtext
A hidden meaning of someone’s words or actions. It’s what they really mean. They say one thing but mean another.
From Thesaurus.plus
→ Here’s a cheat sheet to find out what the hell your colleagues are really saying:
“No, there are no bad ideas”
= “That was a bad idea”
“All feedback is welcome”
= “Feedback’s welcome, just don’t be a wanker about it”
“I’m working from home, you can ping me on all channels”
= “I’m working from home, please leave me alone”
“Does that fit our visual language?”
= “That looks a bloody muddle”
“I’m a Product Designer”
= “UX is old news champ”
“That’s a standard pattern for iOS / Android”
= “Please don’t argue with Apple / Google”
“Thanks for the feedback, I’ll keep that in mind”
= “I’ll listen, but choose to ignore that”
“We’ll put it in the backlog”
= “That’s the last you’ll ever see of that”
“That’s a great point but…..”
= “I’ll make you feel good, then politely tear you to shreds”
“Would be good to see the data on that”
= “I’m pretty bloody positive you’re wrong”
“I didn’t get the calendar invite for that meeting”
= “I had no interest whatsoever going to that meeting”
“You’re right but….”
= “You’re wrong”
“Out hack day’s going to be great, we’ll build it and everything”
= “Once this hack day’s done, we shall never speak of it again (except in company PR)”
Let’s take this offline
= “For f#*ks sake can you shut up about that crap”
“It’s a pretty high level meeting, you probably don’t need to be there”
= “This meeting’s a bit above your station”
A colleague taking charge of your computer “Can I drive?”
= “Jesus, I don’t have time for this crap”
“We’re agile”
= “We’re not very agile, more like mini waterfall”
“Have you explored the idea of ……”
= “You need to try something else, this idea’s bloody awful”
While in a meeting “I need to go to another meeting”
= “I can’t be arsed with this shit”
While in a meeting, take a phone call and walk out
= “Yes, I’m pretty bloody important”
“How does that design look in mobile web?”
= “I’m trying to catch you out”
“Invision sync / One Drive / Dropbox has screwed my files up”
= “Shit, I totally forgot to do that”
“I’m working from home”
= “I’ve got an interview”
= “I’m in bed”
= “I’m hungover”
(in slack) “My train is running slow, I’ll be in late”
= “I slept in and am struggling to get out of the house”
→ If you enjoyed this, read some of my other semi-humorous UX articles:
UX Designer Cheat Sheet was originally published in UX Planet on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
